A Look at the Neighborhood
by smallhobbit
Summary: A somewhat novel-style fan-fic of Pearls Before Swine. Read at your own risk; I’ll take any reviews, and I do mean any… More chapters will be up as I have time to work on this.
1. Chapter 1

_Hi! This is probably going to be the first novel style fan-fic for Pearls. (Or at least the first one I've seen on the sites I go to.) It's inspired by the current comic series (that started April 3) but only just. (although, I'm thinking on that, too…)  
Also, I'm planning on using a majority of characters, so if anyone has anyone they want to see just tell me and I'll try my best to put them in here. _

_Anyway, here it is (I hope you enjoy):_

Chapter 1: It's a Weird Day in the Neighborhood

It would have been a nice, normal neighborhood (if there was such a thing…) except that mixed in with the usual weird people you'd might expect in any neighborhood there was also a fraternity and family of crocodiles, a zebra who was an activist while he had to do everything he could to survive the crocs… well… general stupidity, a rat that hated all of the neighbors and if he wasn't trying a new way to avoid the world then he was shoving them all into boxes, although his housemate, an idiotic yet well-meaning and sweet pig usually got the most of his cynical moods. Slowly it seemed their neighborhood was becoming a zoo.

The TV on, another beer, and he was content… at least until he heard the door.

"Hi," Pig said as he walked in. He was a short pudgy pink fellow with his ears almost seeming to hold out into the air. "I have somethi…"

He was quickly interrupted. "Shut up, I'm watching TV," Rat replied angrily. He was shorter than Pig with grey fur and very rounded ears. He took another drink of beer as his eyes stayed glued to the TV.

Pig sighed. "I was just going to say my sister's going to visit…"

Rat was up in an instant. "What?! When? Did she… I mean…" He took a couple deep breaths to calm down.

Pig stared for a moment, and then tried to concentrate. "…Uh… She ether said she was going to visit mom's for a few days or she's at mom's and she's coming here for a few days…"

"WELL WHICH IS IT?!" Rat shouted overly emotionally.

A knock came at the door before Pig could answer. Rat's eyes instantly went wide as he hissed at Pig, "I'm not here." Then he shot off to his room.

Pig only shrugged as he went to open the door.

"Hey, Pig," Zebra greeted. He was somewhat tall with the usual black and white stripes. "You guys won't mind if I crash here for a bit? The crocs are… Well…"

In the backyard of the house belonging to the ZZE (which stands for Zeeba Zeeba Eata) they were busy having their version of an initiation ceremony, which consisted of tarring apart zebra dolls, boasting about who can catch the most prey, and various eating contests. Zebra, of course, didn't like the fact that he could see this all from his house and that there were so many crocs nearby, so he suck out the back as quickly and quietly as possible.

They sat at the kitchen table drinking. "So, where's Rat, exactly?" Zebra asked as he took a sip of coffee.

"…well… He said that he's not here…"

Zebra slightly glared at him. "You told him your sister's coming, didn't you?"

Pig only shrugged in reply.

He sighed and shouted, "Hey Rat, its okay! It's only me!"

Rat mumbled, "#&* Pig," as he came out of his room.

Later on that day, they could hear the ZZE crocs and occasionally see them pass by the window, so it was decided that Zebra would spend the night there. (Actually, Pig amazingly made that decision because Rat really couldn't care less.)

Zebra was lying down on the couch. This wasn't the way he planned to spend his day.

"How are you feeling?" Pig asked still trying to get Zebra comfortable.

Zebra sighed hard. "Uncomfortable… angry… I'd really rather be in my own bed right now, in my own home… Those stupid crocs…"

Rat raised his beer. "Amen to that," he said before taking a big drink.

"You do know you're not helping, Rat?" Zebra asked as he rolled over to look at him.

"I thought I'd just help the mood a bit."

"Well you're not," Zebra stated as he rolled back over.

The next morning, Rat woke up a house that was quieter than usual. This should have been a good thing considering he wasn't a morning person, but for some reason he woke up early and irritated anyway. It really didn't help when he heard the doorbell ring. Rat decided he was going to yell at the person to go away when he noticed that Pig and Zebra weren't around.

He opened the door and shouted, "G..." before the words stuck in his throat and his eyes grew wide.

"Hi, Rat," The bubble girl outside said. She looked like pig only more feminine and with a bow on her head.

"F-f… Farina…" Rat greeted shocked.

"Didn't Pig tell you I was coming?" she asked.

"…Well…ah…"

"…I take that as a no…"

Rat shifted uncomfortably. "…He kind of did…"

They stood in an uneasy silence for awhile.

"So where is Pig?" Farina asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't know; probably with Zebra…"

Pig and Zebra had gone to check on the condition of his house much earlier, and were still there. Thankfully on their way there it seemed the crocs from the ZZE initiation ceremony were sleeping in or passed out due to all their partying from the day before.

"Well, it looks like everything's still here," Zebra said as he came back into his living room. "You'd think they'd come in here and trash the place with how they were acting yesterday…"

Pig sat on the couch in the living room slowly kicking his feet every so often. "That's good. I guess they just didn't think about it…"

"I'm still a bit uncomfortable, though. As soon as those crocs wake up they're probably going to want to go after me."

Pig sat up. "I could let you borrow my duck." Pig's duck was actually one he bought a few years back as a guard animal and he would sometimes take his job a little too seriously.

Zebra got a slight smile as he thought about it. "Thanks, Pig… That's actually not such a bad idea…"

"Just make sure he settles everything peacefully…" Pig replied.

That made Zebra slump a bit. "Ah huh…"

* * *

Goat lived in a different part of the neighborhood yet he visited often enough that you wouldn't know it. In the group of "friends" he was the unappreciated genius everyone ignored.

As he walked by Zebra's house he noticed the guard duck patrolling outside the door. Goat just rolled his eyes and walked inside.

"Why is Pig's guard duck patrolling outside your house?" he asked.

Zebra just sighed and answered, "Because those crocs had an initiation ceremony yesterday inviting in more members than there already were."

Goat put his hands on his hips. "You're afraid of those dumb crocs?"

"No, I just want to know that I'm seriously protected from those idiots…"

"By an unstable military-minded miniature ball of fury?"

Zebra thought about it for a moment. "If he can get the job done, then yeah… and you might not want to say any of that to his face…"

Meanwhile back at the other house, Rat and Farina were back to uncomfortable silence; after all, there's not a lot you can say to some one you thought was the love of your life but really wasn't but then they broke your heart and then suddenly they keep managing to pop back up in your life… Nope, not really a lot of topics there at all…

Pig just happened to get back right then breaking the tension one again. "Hi, Farina," he greeted.

Farina smiled. "Hi Pig."

"How long have you been here?"

"Oh, only a couple minutes, but it gave me enough time to catch up with Rat…"

Rat blushed; something he rarely ever did. She had to be here longer than a couple minutes because they had at least been standing out there for an hour. And he didn't even have the decency to invite her in! Well… His brain hadn't exactly been working, but that's not the type of excuse you want to hear, is it?

"Well then, why don't we all go inside?" Pig offered.

Rat glared, but then led the procession inside, anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: It Gets Weirder

There was a family of crocodiles in the neighborhood, the father of which wasn't at the ZZE's party last night because he'd rather spent time with his son. (Actually, he would have rather been out partying… but that's _a bit_ beside the point…) What was really confusing was when he somehow stumbled in the door that morning when he was supposedly "sleeping".

His wife, on the other hand, was standing there waiting before he even opened the door. "Where were you?!" she demanded as the door swung open.

He stumbled a bit more before saying in a slurred drunken tone, "…Shut you mouf, woomun…" he hiccupped and stumbled around a bit more. "…Me was out on…" He hiccupped again. "…morning jog…"

At this point, their son was up and out looking on their proceedings. Thankfully, (or unfortunately in the father's case) the mother noticed this first.

"Junior, why don't you go have some breakfast?" she suggested.

He was off before the rest of the "conversation" even continued.

* * *

The rest of the day was extremely off as Rat tried to avoid Farina while Pig was trying to get his sister comfortable. It almost didn't work until they decided to watch a movie and Pig offered to make popcorn but then Rat offered, instead.

"You rarely ever see your sister," Rat defended stiffly. "I'll go and then you can spend more time together."

Pig looked confused. "…But I thought you said…"

"Look, FORGET WHAT I SAID!" he interrupted in his usual angry outburst. Then seemed to quickly calm down to add, "You two just stay here and catch up while…"

Rat was gone in under a second. Farina looked at her brother slightly worried; Pig just had a bland expression on his face.

In fact, after awhile they both started to enjoy themselves and stop worrying, until Rat was still missing FIVE HOURS LATER and the movie had long since been over. Then Farina started to pester her brother into looking for him.

The truth was Pig didn't know the first place to look. The kitchen, sure, but the kitchen was empty. Then there was Rat's room, but Rat would yell at him… or worse… if he were actually in there. Even over by the computer, which Rat used quite often, there were scattered beer cans proving that they hadn't cleaned over there since Rat's last story attempt but not the author himself.

Discouraged, Pig headed outside hoping Rat hadn't been eaten by crocs, which although was a possibility was highly unlikely due to the fact that most of them were ether hung-over or now had Guard Duck to deal with.

As soon as he stepped outside he saw Rat lying on the front lawn with a beer can in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Pig walked over to his friend and looked down at him.

Rat quickly sat up and glared. "Why is it your sister always comes and ruins my life?" he demanded.

Pig only shrugged.

"I mean, it's like she knows just when my life's going perfectly so she can come in and make it all crash down again!"

Silence followed. Pig didn't really know what to say to that considering this was his sister that was being ranted about but Rat was his friend… Finally he just said, "Maybe she doesn't realize it…"

Rat stood up and glared at him again. "I'm gonna go fume in peace…"

* * *

He patrolled outside keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary… which wasn't really much of anything right now. Well… except for the glaringly purple house in the neighborhood and other problems, but considering he was currently on duty for one problem he'd just have to ignore those… for now.

It was quite, anyway, and the quite was starting to make him restless. _If it were a trained opponent, they'd be planning an attack, _he thought as he scanned the neighborhood.

The crocs were anything but trained, though. He frowned as he thought about it; it would have been nice to have an actual challenge for once. If this was just for his superior he would go tell him his ideas on how to neutralize the threat or even infiltrate the base, but as it is he was working for a Mr. Zebra and he wasn't too comfortable with taking orders from newbies.

A sigh; sometimes the military life was a bit too taxing. Then some movement caught the corner of his eye.

He turned to see it; definitely two crocs headed towards the house from a house next door. They were talking and laughing about something as they walked over. A smile slowly appeared; finally some action.

* * *

Zebra sighed and plopped down on his couch as the movie started. It was nice to finally be able to relax… Then there was a loud bang from outside.

He ran to check what was going on. It seemed the duck had decided it'd be a good idea to take out two crocs with a rocket launcher.

The duck turned to him and gave a stern salute. "Two targets neutralized, Mr. Zebra," he reported, guessing that that was probably the reason why his current charge was out here.

Zebra opened his mouth to say something but then sighed instead. _There's probably no way to reason with this guy anyway, _he thought as he headed back into his house, _I don't see how Pig can stand it…_

* * *

Pig walked back inside a bit disheartened. Somehow he felt everything was ruined and it was his fault. Rat made him feel like this a lot, though.

Farina looked as soon as he came in. "I thought you went to go look for Rat…" she said somewhat worried.

Pig made a soft kick at the carpet. "He said he had to go fume in peace…"

Farina sighed and nodded sadly. "In that case, I think I'll go for a walk," she added as she went outside.

He just sighed as he collapsed on the couch.

* * *

The day went slowly. For the ZZE, it was antagonizingly so, mostly because most of them were still hungover from the night before… but that doesn't really matter right now.

"Dis so BOREING!" one shouted. (He had been smarter than most of them and didn't really drink that much… not saying that he's usually smart, though…)

Another of the other crocs glared at him. "Me no like you…" he mumbled before collapsing in a heap.

Suddenly, a very beat up croc stumbled in. "Wife MAD woomun…" he stated before collapsing as well.

"Larry no look good…" a croc whispered from somewhere near then back.

"ME no feel good," came the reply as another croc stumbled and landed on a near-by couch.

In fact, none of the crocs really looked or felt all that good right then. They were mostly hungover (with the exception of Larry who got beat up and the one who decided not to drink that much) and therefore felt crappy because of it. If they weren't all hungover they'd probably be planning something that would make most of them feel a lot worse later. (aka dead… but not always…)

* * *

It was relatively peaceful; a book, calm environment, and no reason for anything to bother him for a long time besides the typical noise of the neighborhood, but he was more than used to it.

That is until a familiar voice went by his house shouting things that probably shouldn't be repeated here. He sighed; so much for a peaceful day…

Rat was anything but clam as he passed though the neighborhood. He didn't even notice when Goat stepped out and glared at him. In fact he probably wouldn't have noticed at all if Goat hadn't decided to "interrupt him" at that moment.

"What are you doing exactly, Rat?" Goat asked, pretty sure he didn't want to know the answer.

"What does it ^*%$#& look like I'm doing? I'm going to the bar!"

"You do know the closest one is a mile in the _opposite_ direction, right?"

Rat suddenly froze stiff for a moment, but the moment was quickly gone and he then turned walking the other direction as he grumbled even more words that won't be repeated here.

Goat sighed; it was times like that that made him wonder why he never moved to a better neighborhood. (If one existed, that is…)


End file.
